Portugal

Portugal – home of the ‘beautiful ports’ as described by the Romans with plenty of coastline to launch assaults so that they became colonising junkies. However they did have their hiccups with the Moors – thus making Portugal one of the most ‘ethnic’ of countries. So many influences – so many angels and devils. From the Celts who invaded the Iberians, who thus intermarried. The Greeks were never too far away and the Romans had no choice but to invade way back in 219BC, however the Lusitanian tribes of the north drove them out, until the Lusitanian’s were bribed to kill their own leader. Soon the Visigoths of Germany rocked up. Both the Germans and Romans had to endure the invasion by the Moors. By the time the Moors were ousted, Portugal aimed for independence as far back as 1128, but a battle ensured that in 1143 Portugal had found her feet, if indeed she was a she. However, what sort of idealism is a nation when there’s no war to keep you occupied? So the Portuguese took to the battlefields again but no one had a degree in medicine so the Black Death ravaged the country.

Dissatisfied with war at home, Portuguese fleets took to the seas thus becoming one of the most prominent of seafarers and sea sickness. Discovering lands in North Africa, in Guinea, and the Congo. Then India, which led to prosperity beyond their means. Portugal forgot one thing – they didn’t have enough people to colonise the world! So what did Portugal do? They lied to everyone saying how big they were but never disclosed information about their invasions. This secrecy has frustrated historians even to the point that maybe Columbus didn’t discover America. The king of sailors, Vasco da Gama went further than any computer game. It was Cabral who claimed Brazil in 1500. Everyone went Treaty mad whilst kings aiming for glory were slain. Portugal was incredibly wise to starve off Spanish interests for so long; nevertheless Portugal remained a backwater in the 18th century. Portugal was invaded by Napoleon’s cronies, the Portuguese Royal family fled to Brazil. Eventually Brazil won independence (that population in Portugal could never have occupied Brazil!). Liberals and conservatives struggled away. Slavery went down the drain but it didn’t alleviate the poverty.

By 1875 a republican Socialist Party took control, yet King Carlos 1st was assassinated, which led to drama in Lisbon throughout the start of the 20th century. Portugal allied itself with Britain in WWI, Germany was not happy. The Portuguese lost numbers. Turmoil was around the corner yet again where reform could not get off the ground so the republic gave rise to revolutionary coups, military counter- coups and aborted royalist uprisings. Panic was never too far away in Portugal. In 1932 Salazar brought in his “New State’ program where social reforms and public works took root. Remarkably Portugal stayed right away from WWII but the British did use bases in the Azores. The secret police couldn’t help themselves during elections. Goa fell back to India in 1961, leaving only the African colonies which the Portuguese would not give up easily. Salazar spent loads of money and fought futile wars as nationalist movements got underway in Africa. By the 1970s the Socialists and Communists aimed for electoral control but by 1975 a majority of African countries and islands found their own feet. Portugal even lost East Timor to Indonesia in 1976. Portugal’s fame worldwide was coming to an end. The last 25 years has seen Portugal remain relatively stable, where reform and liberal-socialism is the platform in which Portugal has found its place in the sun.

Portugal can however be criticised for complacency – this was seen at World Cup 2002 where Portugal were bundled out easily and in silly circumstances against Korea Republic in the last game – how did Pauleta miss that goal? Then when Portugal were the hosts for Euro 2004, they were twice beaten by Greece and devastatingly one of those games was the final itself. This is a great squad, controlled by one of the strangest managers, namely Luiz Felipe Scolari who looks more like someone who’d cut your lawn than coach Brazil to a world championship in 2002. Big Phil has eternal faith in his younger than normal Portuguese upstarts and there is considerable belief Portugal can win the World Cup – perhaps against their formal colony Brazil.

The future? Is Pauleta good enough? He fumed and fell at World Cup 2002 and has never gone to a big European club, likewise Nuno Gomes. Deco and Figo (his last games for Portugal?) wait to do the damage in midfield. Simao, Petit and Tiago look deadly with free-kicks and it must be said Portugal work very hard in their shooting yet complacency is a disease Portugal are guilty of and they look likely to shake this off with Big Phil cutting the grass. The defence are tougher than ever and most of them are doing their trade in the UK. Expect Portugal to deliver the goods!

Bottomless pit ranking? There’s no doubt Portugal were dirty bastards during their colonial power days. How Portuguese became the native language in Brazil is just staggering. Brazil is the equivalent of America in the north, colonised at about the same time but just like the Portuguese national team, the Portuguese were too lazy, anxious and cruel to make Brazil a powerful country. If only the ‘special one’ Jose Mourinho was in charge back then. Mourinho will be landing by helicopter near a German stadium near you. No doubt when Portugal is eliminated Jose will say “Best team lost” – Portugal historically, lost out in the World’s affairs.